just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
