If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
