Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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