Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
