Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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