I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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