I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
