It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
