I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
