I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
