$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
