Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
