we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he thought i was a dude.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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