I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
