I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
