I'm jealous of your bromance
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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