So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
and she was petting her beer can
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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