Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
