no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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