U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
