You just made me feel so damn special
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
