Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
