cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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