Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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