i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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