haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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