i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
