i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize