So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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