Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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