that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
