I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
