i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
