They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
