that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
