I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
