you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
