my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
