there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
