I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
