i just wanna soil my oats bro
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
