Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
worst night to have a conscience
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
