Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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