She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
