And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
