Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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