she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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