we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
