sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
