dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
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For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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