i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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