saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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