last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
