Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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