this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think your dad took our porno
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
