Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
