Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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